Sunshine+Design

Big News For Me

My world is so crazy and full of amazement that I sometimes wonder why I have the life that I do. A gift has been given to me, something that I worked so hard to create and nurture; and even now almost four months later, I am in disbelief that it worked. This baby boy is real, and Daryle and I made him! The bewilderment isn’t going away and I feel a little repetitive. It’s like I’m in another realm: I had my life pictured, my little life, with my husband and cats, and I thought that I wanted a baby, and I felt that it was the “right time,” and then we tried to make a baby, and then it worked, and he’s here. It’s all history! I just can’t believe how much my life has changed and how now I can’t imagine it any other way.

After a lot of soul-searching, and long talks with Daryle, and long talks with my mom, I’ve decided to not return to my job. I love my job, and I was so proud to work there. It was one of the absolute hardest decisions that I have ever made. I had moments where I even felt like I was walking out on a career that I have spent a lot of time building. Never in my mind did I ever think of myself as a stay at home mom. But, like I said, my world has turned upside down — in the best way possible and at this point, raising the child that I spent so much time growing, praying for a safe delivery and good health, is the single most important thing to me. I want to be there for the big milestones that are fleeting by, week-by-week. As important it is to be good at my job, it’s more important to me to play an integral role Jack’s upbringing and to equally be a solid and happy partner to Daryle.

Obviously, finances play a big role in the decision here. The crazy thing about DC is childcare is SO so expensive in this city. After daycare, I would wind up taking home like a quarter of my salary. That’s no way to live, rushing out the door to drop Jack off and feeling guilty, then feeling guilty when I’d have to leave the office to pick him up. So instead of working full-time I’m taking on freelance design work. That’s right, Sunshine+Design is open for business. Let me know if you need any print or web design work done. I’m available. :)

I’m happy with my decision. I’m still figuring out my routine — which is hard to establish with an almost four-month old; he really is the one who calls the shots. This experience is unexplainable, I’m just trying to live in every moment, being the best mom I can be.